The #1 Trap That Keeps Women Stuck Repeating the Same Old Patterns with Marianna Clark

Marianna Clark: 00:00:00

Some point on the hero's journey, or heroine's

Marianna Clark: 00:00:03

journey, we get to that point where you go, Ah, I can let this

Marianna Clark: 00:00:10

go too, and come back to the realization that actually I am

Marianna Clark: 00:00:16

whole, that I am whole, and that in that wholeness, that's the

Marianna Clark: 00:00:23

ultimate healing. And then life starts reflecting the versions

Marianna Clark: 00:00:28

of myself that are whole within relationships, within life,

Marianna Clark: 00:00:32

within working opportunities, within everything in life. It

Marianna Clark: 00:00:37

starts to mirror my wholeness instead of mere something about

Marianna Clark: 00:00:43

me that feels broken, and then I have to, because life will then

Marianna Clark: 00:00:46

bring that to you, right? It's like, oh, I have to fix that

Marianna Clark: 00:00:49

aspect of my self within that relationship and that

Marianna Clark: 00:00:53

relationship and that relationship, and then we just

Marianna Clark: 00:00:55

keep recreating, you know, these relationships that keep us stuck

Marianna Clark: 00:01:01

in that

Kate Harlow: 00:01:03

Hello, my loves. I'm excited for you to dive into

Kate Harlow: 00:01:06

this week's episode. You get to be a fly on the wall on a

Kate Harlow: 00:01:10

conversation with me and my love of my life, my bestie, my

Kate Harlow: 00:01:14

soulmate. I have lots of besties, but Mariana and I are

Kate Harlow: 00:01:18

two peas in a pod, and I have had Mariana Clark on the podcast

Kate Harlow: 00:01:22

before. I think it's maybe the third, third, maybe fourth time

Kate Harlow: 00:01:26

I've had her on and but I thought I would tell you a

Kate Harlow: 00:01:28

little bit about her. For those of you who don't know Mariana,

Kate Harlow: 00:01:31

magical Mariana, this episode is, I imagine, going to be

Kate Harlow: 00:01:35

deeply healing on a lot of levels. Mariana is the founder

Kate Harlow: 00:01:40

of travel within retreats, and she does these beautiful

Kate Harlow: 00:01:45

retreats that I actually attend myself. I go on myself, for me,

Kate Harlow: 00:01:50

and it's all about traveling deeper within your own soul. And

Kate Harlow: 00:01:54

she helps people alchemize subconscious thoughts, limiting

Kate Harlow: 00:01:58

beliefs through the body, through the vehicle of the body,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:02

and embodiment practices and really how to like actual,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:08

tangible practices of how to break free from just letting

Kate Harlow: 00:02:12

your limited mind lead your life. And so this episode is

Kate Harlow: 00:02:16

really, really powerful. Turns out there's not just one trap.

Kate Harlow: 00:02:19

We kind of had an intention to to go with one trap, and it

Kate Harlow: 00:02:23

seems like there was many. So there's just a lot of, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:26

really tangible, really practical tools and things that

Kate Harlow: 00:02:30

you can use. So I hope you feel sparked and inspired. This woman

Kate Harlow: 00:02:35

is just a different level human. And I mean, I try and have on

Kate Harlow: 00:02:39

mostly different, like, Next Level humans on this podcast,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:42

she's, you know, on a planet of her own, and she, I have grown

Kate Harlow: 00:02:46

and expanded so much in my life since she came into my world in

Kate Harlow: 00:02:51

2018 and I imagine you are going to too. So enjoy this episode,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:56

enjoy my beautiful love Mariana, and our conversation and a

Kate Harlow: 00:03:00

little glimpse into our sisterhood. And I hope it heals

Kate Harlow: 00:03:03

a little piece of your heart today. And of course, share it

Kate Harlow: 00:03:05

with all your friends. Lots of love.

Kate Harlow: 00:03:12

Hello, my loves. Do I have a special guest for you today? Do

Kate Harlow: 00:03:19

you know i Hello, Mariana. Hello, Kate. Do you know I talk

Kate Harlow: 00:03:23

about you probably in every episode,

Marianna Clark: 00:03:25

really? Yeah, oh my gosh.

Kate Harlow: 00:03:29

So you're a little bit famous here.

Marianna Clark: 00:03:32

Oh my goodness, I'm blushing. I mean, we talk

Marianna Clark: 00:03:39

almost every, every day, almost every day.

Kate Harlow: 00:03:43

Yes, we're not codependent. No one of us is

Kate Harlow: 00:03:48

traveling or with our partners. We go through breaks, but yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:52

we do talk very frequently,

Marianna Clark: 00:03:54

yeah, yeah, and we're on different time zones

Marianna Clark: 00:03:56

now, so I think that was a different shift for us too,

Marianna Clark: 00:04:00

wasn't it because I was on London time and you're in Greek

Marianna Clark: 00:04:03

time, and now I'm in Southern California, so but we find a way

Marianna Clark: 00:04:07

to connect every day, if not by talking absolutely by energy. So

Marianna Clark: 00:04:14

we're all

Kate Harlow: 00:04:14

connected. You know, I feel like we should

Kate Harlow: 00:04:17

probably weave that into the conversation today, because so

Kate Harlow: 00:04:20

many women are still relating from the the patterns, from the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:25

the gossip, complaining, victim mentality, blaming, all of that

Kate Harlow: 00:04:31

stuff. And they often say like, Well, what do you say? What do

Kate Harlow: 00:04:34

you talk about with your friends? When, when you're not

Kate Harlow: 00:04:38

doing those things? Like I I've noticed when women start this

Kate Harlow: 00:04:41

journey, there's this which, of course, is of the mind, but this

Kate Harlow: 00:04:44

question as to what, what to talk about, and what if I have

Kate Harlow: 00:04:50

nothing interesting to say? And I always think, Hmm, what do

Kate Harlow: 00:04:53

Mariana and I talk about? And for me, I feel like the reason

Kate Harlow: 00:04:57

we talk so often is because we just keep expanding. Each other

Kate Harlow: 00:05:00

like that. All we talk about, I mean, we joke a lot, but all we

Kate Harlow: 00:05:04

talk about is expansive possibilities in the universe

Kate Harlow: 00:05:08

and the like, how beautiful life is. And there's just this, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:05:13

real expansion that I experience every time we talk,

Marianna Clark: 00:05:17

yeah, and I think, you know, when we ask

Marianna Clark: 00:05:20

that question of, What do I say? What do I talk about? It's, it's

Marianna Clark: 00:05:24

coming from our heads, you know, it's strategic. It's, it's, you

Marianna Clark: 00:05:30

know, there's something that we lose, I think, a sense of true

Marianna Clark: 00:05:34

intimacy when we're in that place and and I think when we

Marianna Clark: 00:05:40

get to a place where we're just really comfortable in ourselves

Marianna Clark: 00:05:45

and touching that part of our soul and our heart and the

Marianna Clark: 00:05:50

silence within, when we're really comfortable with the

Marianna Clark: 00:05:52

silence within, I think it just almost doesn't matter what you

Marianna Clark: 00:05:58

Say, because we're communicating on a deeper level, and that

Marianna Clark: 00:06:02

deeper level is so that's why me and you, we can talk about all

Marianna Clark: 00:06:06

these really cool things that are happening in life, and then

Marianna Clark: 00:06:09

when all these really cool things aren't happening in life,

Marianna Clark: 00:06:12

we can just be sitting in the silence together, and sometimes,

Marianna Clark: 00:06:15

like you're cleaning the house, or I'm chasing butterflies in

Marianna Clark: 00:06:19

the garden, and we're Just like, oh, look, it's a pretty

Marianna Clark: 00:06:22

butterfly. And it just doesn't matter the the connection that

Marianna Clark: 00:06:26

we have. And I think the real soul connection, connection that

Marianna Clark: 00:06:30

is possible within human relationship, lies within the

Marianna Clark: 00:06:34

intimacy that we have with ourselves and being in in in

Marianna Clark: 00:06:41

connection with our hearts and our souls. So then all of a

Marianna Clark: 00:06:44

sudden, the words that just come out, they're, they're, they're

Marianna Clark: 00:06:48

words, and they're perfect in that moment.

Kate Harlow: 00:06:52

Yeah, it's so true. It just doesn't matter and and

Kate Harlow: 00:06:56

it's a different frequency when you're in the heart and when

Kate Harlow: 00:06:59

you're really connected, that's it. When you're home in yourself

Kate Harlow: 00:07:01

and you're really connected, that that question won't be a

Kate Harlow: 00:07:05

thing, because that part of you doesn't need to know anything.

Kate Harlow: 00:07:08

We just talked about this, like the mind always wants to know,

Kate Harlow: 00:07:11

but what's next? But how do I plan? I gotta plan the thing to

Kate Harlow: 00:07:13

say. I gotta know what I'm doing next. I gotta know where I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:07:16

going. I gotta know where I'm staying. And you when you're in

Kate Harlow: 00:07:20

the heart frequency, you actually don't need to know.

Marianna Clark: 00:07:25

No it. There is a, and we talked about this

Marianna Clark: 00:07:28

earlier, there's a there's a knowing that comes from the

Marianna Clark: 00:07:32

soul, because that, that part of your soul and your heart within

Marianna Clark: 00:07:36

the body is connected, and the mind, though, is a way is is

Marianna Clark: 00:07:43

disconnected so and it's compartmentalized, and it's a

Marianna Clark: 00:07:46

conglomeration of all past thoughts and all the things that

Marianna Clark: 00:07:49

you've learned. And it's like, almost like running tape on life

Marianna Clark: 00:07:54

and running tape on your life. So when you're actually dropping

Marianna Clark: 00:07:58

into your heart and your soul, that you're almost like

Marianna Clark: 00:08:02

practicing leaning into the unknown, and that becomes a lot

Marianna Clark: 00:08:06

more easeful and graceful when you practice like going into

Marianna Clark: 00:08:12

that unknown. That's when you tap into the soul, which always

Marianna Clark: 00:08:18

knows, but it doesn't know. It knows in a different way. It

Marianna Clark: 00:08:23

doesn't know from the mind, like the mind's perception of how it

Marianna Clark: 00:08:29

thinks that something should look like. Or is it this one, or

Marianna Clark: 00:08:33

is that, is it that guy, or should I be doing this? Or that

Marianna Clark: 00:08:37

there's something that when we let go of that mind's

Marianna Clark: 00:08:40

interpretation, that we drop into the instinctual knowing,

Marianna Clark: 00:08:44

and it's a feeling, and it lives beyond thought. It lives beyond

Marianna Clark: 00:08:49

words and practicing. That is, I feel the juiciest part of

Marianna Clark: 00:08:56

living, and it's what I practice every day, through either, you

Marianna Clark: 00:09:01

know, movement or meditation or nature walks things like that,

Marianna Clark: 00:09:07

being, you know, having obviously conscious

Marianna Clark: 00:09:09

relationships like yourself. And yeah, it becomes life becomes a

Marianna Clark: 00:09:14

lot more fun that way.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:17

Yes, because then you get to experience all the

Kate Harlow: 00:09:19

magic and everything that's meant that we miss if we're so

Kate Harlow: 00:09:23

busy in the mind,

Unknown: 00:09:26

yeah, absolutely.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:28

So I'm sure this is connected, but I'm just going to

Kate Harlow: 00:09:30

read the title to pull us back. That was a little bonus, but the

Kate Harlow: 00:09:35

number one trap that keeps women stuck repeating old pattern,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:39

same, same different guys, same pattern, different work, jobs,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:43

same pattern, different friendship, same pattern. Yeah,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:48

I'm excited to explore this, and it's, I feel like everything on

Kate Harlow: 00:09:53

this podcast is all it's all the same, it's all interconnected.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:56

But I'm really excited to talk about this in particular. So

Kate Harlow: 00:10:01

tell us, what's the number one trap?

Marianna Clark: 00:10:04

I think we were relating a little bit to this,

Marianna Clark: 00:10:06

like on the journey of personal development, on the journey of

Marianna Clark: 00:10:11

self healing. When we start on that journey, it's easy to look

Marianna Clark: 00:10:17

at a lot of the things that are quote, unquote wrong with us,

Marianna Clark: 00:10:21

or, you know, things that have kept us in a trauma state, or

Marianna Clark: 00:10:27

all of those things. So we go on that hero's journey, so to

Marianna Clark: 00:10:30

speak, and then at one stage on the hero's journey, we can

Marianna Clark: 00:10:36

almost get addicted to fixing ourselves, or healing ourselves,

Marianna Clark: 00:10:43

or getting past this trauma and that trauma, and when we go into

Marianna Clark: 00:10:48

that state, it almost like reconfigures what we're trying

Marianna Clark: 00:10:55

to heal. Because underneath this, there's a story of us

Marianna Clark: 00:10:58

being broken in some way. And so us being broken in some way

Marianna Clark: 00:11:03

means we have to then fix this aspect of ourselves, or if

Marianna Clark: 00:11:07

something's doesn't feel right or look like in our lives, and

Marianna Clark: 00:11:10

we spend time trying to heal that aspect of ourselves. And

Marianna Clark: 00:11:15

that can sometimes be a trap and also a self fulfilling prophecy,

Marianna Clark: 00:11:21

right? And so I think this is a really important topic to talk

Marianna Clark: 00:11:27

about today, because at some point on the hero's journey or

Marianna Clark: 00:11:32

heroine's journey, we get to that point where you go, Ah, I

Marianna Clark: 00:11:38

can let this go to and come back to the realization that actually

Marianna Clark: 00:11:45

I am whole, that I am whole, and that in that wholeness, that's

Marianna Clark: 00:11:55

the ultimate healing. And then life starts reflecting the

Marianna Clark: 00:11:59

versions of myself that are whole, within relationships,

Marianna Clark: 00:12:02

within life, within working opportunities, within everything

Marianna Clark: 00:12:08

in life, it starts to mirror my wholeness. Instead of mere

Marianna Clark: 00:12:14

something about me that feels broken, and then I have to,

Marianna Clark: 00:12:17

because life will then bring that to you, right? It's like,

Marianna Clark: 00:12:20

oh, I have to fix that aspect of my self within that relationship

Marianna Clark: 00:12:24

and that relationship and that relationship, and then we just

Marianna Clark: 00:12:27

keep recreating, you know, these relationships that keep us stuck

Marianna Clark: 00:12:33

in that,

Kate Harlow: 00:12:35

yes, yeah, I like to think of it like we've Have

Kate Harlow: 00:12:38

these two sides to ourselves, the wounded parts of us that are

Kate Harlow: 00:12:43

from childhood, so wounded child and your saboteur, and then your

Kate Harlow: 00:12:48

soul, your sovereignty, your heroine, your wholeness, all the

Kate Harlow: 00:12:51

same thing, and either in any given moment or either operating

Kate Harlow: 00:12:56

from the wounded self or the soul self, the sovereign Self.

Kate Harlow: 00:12:59

And I think that, you know, I can even track on my own

Kate Harlow: 00:13:03

journey, the times where I when I was it operating from the

Kate Harlow: 00:13:07

wounded self, even in my healing journey, when I would be

Kate Harlow: 00:13:12

addicted to going to healers and addicted to getting psychic

Kate Harlow: 00:13:15

readings and astrology readings and all the things to try and

Kate Harlow: 00:13:19

get a hit to feel better, so then it's in but it's

Kate Harlow: 00:13:22

insatiable, because it's the wound that's actually driving

Kate Harlow: 00:13:25

the appointment, whereas now I usually only book sessions like

Kate Harlow: 00:13:29

that if I already feel good, like I just had this amazing

Kate Harlow: 00:13:33

woman, Shelly, who's a healer of mine. I think I've told you

Kate Harlow: 00:13:36

about her when I was back in Costa Rica, and she came on the

Kate Harlow: 00:13:38

podcast, and then she I was like, hey, I want to do a

Kate Harlow: 00:13:40

session with you. But it wasn't because I was like, I'm because

Kate Harlow: 00:13:43

I was like, I'm broken, and I need your help. It was because I

Kate Harlow: 00:13:45

was excited to see her, and I love her healing sessions. And

Kate Harlow: 00:13:48

we had the coolest thing, and I got so many, I got so much

Kate Harlow: 00:13:51

clarity and old don't even know if I told you about it, but it

Kate Harlow: 00:13:54

was really beautiful session, and I got so much out of it. And

Kate Harlow: 00:13:58

yet I did it from my whole self, not from my wounded self. So in

Kate Harlow: 00:14:02

any given moment, I think we're making decisions from one place

Kate Harlow: 00:14:06

or the other, and when it's coming like, same thing with a

Kate Harlow: 00:14:08

call, call a psychic, from your wounded self, the second is

Kate Harlow: 00:14:11

going to be like, or the you're going to be like. The psychic

Kate Harlow: 00:14:14

told me, you know, on Tuesday, I was going to meet the love of my

Kate Harlow: 00:14:16

life. Where is he like? Is it you? Is it you? And we're going

Kate Harlow: 00:14:18

to become so attached to the thing because it's trying to

Kate Harlow: 00:14:21

fill the wound, versus, if it's coming from your whole self, you

Kate Harlow: 00:14:24

call the psychic, and they tell you cool things, like cool and

Kate Harlow: 00:14:26

then you kind of forget about it, and then a year later,

Kate Harlow: 00:14:29

you're like, holy shit, she was right about everything, but

Kate Harlow: 00:14:31

you're not attached to it, because it's not your wounded

Kate Harlow: 00:14:33

self that's calling the psychic.

Marianna Clark: 00:14:36

Yeah, yeah, that point of origin of making those

Marianna Clark: 00:14:39

choices even to go see like, I love a good massage, you know.

Marianna Clark: 00:14:42

So of course, I'm going to experience that from a place of,

Marianna Clark: 00:14:45

you know, pleasure, or from that point versus, I'm going there to

Marianna Clark: 00:14:51

necessarily fix myself in some way. But, yeah, I love, I love

Marianna Clark: 00:14:56

what you said about even the psychic it. Gets us into a

Marianna Clark: 00:15:00

codependent relationship too. And trust me, I've done it many,

Marianna Clark: 00:15:05

many times, and occasionally I have that urge, you know, it's

Marianna Clark: 00:15:08

like, oh, I want somebody to tell me what to do, or, you

Marianna Clark: 00:15:11

know, or is my is my future going to be okay? Of course,

Marianna Clark: 00:15:16

that mind's going to come in, and it's okay because we're

Marianna Clark: 00:15:19

human, right? But it's nice to also catch ourselves in that

Marianna Clark: 00:15:23

place to because when we do that, we give our power away.

Marianna Clark: 00:15:27

That's it,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:28

and our money, and our money too.

Marianna Clark: 00:15:29

Oh my gosh, my friends and I joke like, all the

Marianna Clark: 00:15:33

money that we've spent on psychic readings in that way,

Marianna Clark: 00:15:36

where it's like, you know, we could have come into a place to

Marianna Clark: 00:15:40

in ourselves, to just anchor into that, knowing that we were

Marianna Clark: 00:15:47

talking about earlier, and then from there. Because what we do,

Marianna Clark: 00:15:50

when we do that, we start trusting ourselves and life so

Marianna Clark: 00:15:55

much more in that. So it's instead of also placing our

Marianna Clark: 00:16:01

trust in things outside of us that can change, right? There's

Marianna Clark: 00:16:07

an inner there's something that's really quite solid, and

Marianna Clark: 00:16:10

in that inner knowing and and, yeah,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:15

I feel like we're the you and I are the perfect

Kate Harlow: 00:16:17

example of like. And it took me a lot, I'll have to say, it took

Kate Harlow: 00:16:21

me a long time to get here. So it's practice. So it's practice,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:23

practice, practice, but we both talk about how we we love, you

Kate Harlow: 00:16:27

know, the practices are always meditating, writing, movement,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:32

singing, singing is my, my go to but I do a little bit of all of

Kate Harlow: 00:16:37

them and nature. And, you know, there's lots of different

Kate Harlow: 00:16:40

practices. I mean, endless practices you can do, but it's

Kate Harlow: 00:16:43

really about being with yourself. Going back to the

Kate Harlow: 00:16:45

beginning, right? If you can't fully be with yourself, you see,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:47

you might be able to be alone, but are you really alone? Are

Kate Harlow: 00:16:50

you distracting yourself? Are you on technology? Are you

Kate Harlow: 00:16:52

really with yourself? But I feel like you and I are both in a

Kate Harlow: 00:16:55

place where we we miss being with ourselves when we're with

Kate Harlow: 00:16:58

other people. It's like, oh, I can't wait to have my practice

Kate Harlow: 00:17:01

in the morning. I can't wait to have to have that spaciousness,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:04

to just land and just be in that place. And if you, if you've

Kate Harlow: 00:17:11

never gone there, you might be hearing, listening to this, and

Kate Harlow: 00:17:14

thinking like, I don't know what that is, but the more that you

Kate Harlow: 00:17:19

practice and you just sit with all of your feelings, welcome

Kate Harlow: 00:17:24

them, feel them move your body in the way that it feels like

Kate Harlow: 00:17:28

moving without your mind, you know, without letting your mind

Kate Harlow: 00:17:31

move your body. But just let your body do what it wants to do

Kate Harlow: 00:17:34

so it can move. The feeling there is an even through sound,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:39

through singing, through whatever there is so much that

Kate Harlow: 00:17:43

comes from that connection. And I think you know, even with with

Kate Harlow: 00:17:49

decisions, making that decision from these two different places,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:53

like when you know, when you're able to sit with yourself in

Kate Harlow: 00:17:55

that way, and you're connected to yourself in that way, you you

Kate Harlow: 00:17:58

really feel that in heart, knowing you know of what is

Kate Harlow: 00:18:03

aligned for you, or what, what, what feels really good for you,

Kate Harlow: 00:18:06

or we often don't know, because we're just making all of our

Kate Harlow: 00:18:09

decisions from the mind,

Marianna Clark: 00:18:11

yeah, and creating that sacred space and

Marianna Clark: 00:18:15

time, you know, if you can, obviously, each day to come back

Marianna Clark: 00:18:19

and return to that, like you said, like, I can't wait, even

Marianna Clark: 00:18:23

if I'm spending, like, let's say I have a very social three days,

Marianna Clark: 00:18:27

and I have, you know, the last three days, and I was like, wow,

Marianna Clark: 00:18:30

I've been around a lot of people. I've gone to a lot of

Marianna Clark: 00:18:33

different, you know, social events and things like that.

Marianna Clark: 00:18:36

There's a part of me that just craves coming back to that place

Marianna Clark: 00:18:42

of meditation, to my writing space, to dancing, to moving, to

Marianna Clark: 00:18:47

taking those long nature walks, you know, in the hills and, you

Marianna Clark: 00:18:54

know, it's, it's, that's where I rejuvenate. You know, that's

Marianna Clark: 00:18:58

where we talk. I think we've mentioned this a lot before,

Marianna Clark: 00:19:00

where it's like, it feels like I'm coming back into the self

Marianna Clark: 00:19:03

rejuvenating fountain, and I fill my cup in that space, and

Marianna Clark: 00:19:09

then I can, it's a space where you return to your wholeness,

Marianna Clark: 00:19:13

and then from there, you know, you can go to other social

Marianna Clark: 00:19:16

events, you can connect with other people from that same

Marianna Clark: 00:19:20

space, and the world looks so different from that same space,

Marianna Clark: 00:19:25

from that rejuvenated space, people start responding to you

Marianna Clark: 00:19:30

differently because you're connected to yourself in such a

Marianna Clark: 00:19:33

deep way that you get to meet people in that and It becomes an

Marianna Clark: 00:19:39

invitation for other people to show up in that space, like

Kate Harlow: 00:19:45

all the 25 year olds that hit on you, Mariana.

Kate Harlow: 00:19:49

25 year olds love Mariana when you're in the heart space.

Kate Harlow: 00:19:56

Folks, folks, everyone loves Mariana, though, but that, that

Kate Harlow: 00:19:59

is it. Because you're walking through the world with your

Kate Harlow: 00:20:01

heart open because you've met yourself. It's not just oh,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:04

hearts open all the time. We go back to that place and it

Kate Harlow: 00:20:09

imagine the the rewiring that happens when we come back to to

Kate Harlow: 00:20:15

loving ourselves enough to create the space, rather than,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:18

Oh, I don't have time. Okay. How much time do you spend on your

Kate Harlow: 00:20:21

phone and on Netflix? Come on, you can make time coming back to

Kate Harlow: 00:20:24

that place over and over and over again to our for ourselves,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:29

what a gift that is to our like our the little kid inside that's

Kate Harlow: 00:20:33

been abandoned a million times and, you know, felt left out and

Kate Harlow: 00:20:36

felt like she doesn't belong and like she's not enough, and like

Kate Harlow: 00:20:39

she doesn't matter, and all those things like that little

Kate Harlow: 00:20:41

girl's inside of you. So for you to come and sit with all those

Kate Harlow: 00:20:45

feelings and sit with her every single day, now you're teaching

Kate Harlow: 00:20:47

her she does matter. She is lovable, she is and then she and

Kate Harlow: 00:20:50

then you two walk through the world, you know, and she, she

Kate Harlow: 00:20:54

starts actually healing, because that's the true healing. And

Kate Harlow: 00:20:57

then you walk through the world from that whole place. And

Kate Harlow: 00:21:00

really it's the ripple effect. Like, I just think of how many

Kate Harlow: 00:21:03

people you know? I mean, guess both of us have met on airplanes

Kate Harlow: 00:21:06

or wherever, where we like sprinkle fairy dust, because our

Kate Harlow: 00:21:09

hearts are open and and we're in a different frequency. And how

Kate Harlow: 00:21:13

many people's whole, entire lives change just from one

Kate Harlow: 00:21:15

conversation? Yes, and ours do too. I mean, gosh, I've heard. I

Kate Harlow: 00:21:19

mean, I think you have the most airplane stories. I usually

Kate Harlow: 00:21:21

ignore people on airplanes, but you airplanes, but you, every

Kate Harlow: 00:21:24

time you get off an airplane, you're like, Oh, my God, I met

Kate Harlow: 00:21:27

the most magical person.

Marianna Clark: 00:21:31

Oh, my goodness, yeah, it is fun, and it's so

Marianna Clark: 00:21:34

interesting how you know coming back to that wholeness,

Marianna Clark: 00:21:38

brokenness, when, when we try to find our wholeness from other

Marianna Clark: 00:21:43

people and try to, like, get the love, let's say, of the

Marianna Clark: 00:21:48

abandoned little girl or whatever, from this person

Marianna Clark: 00:21:52

outside of us. We it's like we almost hold the other person

Marianna Clark: 00:21:58

hostage to make them give us something that they can't ever

Marianna Clark: 00:22:03

give us, even if they try their damndest, you know, to give it

Marianna Clark: 00:22:06

to us. If we don't receive it first and internally, inside of

Marianna Clark: 00:22:11

us, it's never going to be fulfilled. It's never going to

Marianna Clark: 00:22:15

be fulfilling. That's why we try over and over again to through

Marianna Clark: 00:22:20

scrolling or through this date and that date and this guy and

Marianna Clark: 00:22:24

that guy and that job, and we keep trying to get it

Marianna Clark: 00:22:27

externally. It's never going to to fulfill us until we give it

Marianna Clark: 00:22:32

to ourselves in that sacred space.

Kate Harlow: 00:22:36

Yes, and that is why we keep repeating old

Kate Harlow: 00:22:38

patterns, yes, because all of our patterns are external to try

Kate Harlow: 00:22:43

and get something. They're all extractive to try and get

Kate Harlow: 00:22:46

something from someone else to feel good enough or worthy or

Kate Harlow: 00:22:49

lovable, or whatever.

Marianna Clark: 00:22:50

Yeah, and when we feel that way, when when we

Marianna Clark: 00:22:54

have a judgment about what's going on in our lives with other

Marianna Clark: 00:22:59

people or with ourselves. That's beautiful information to me,

Marianna Clark: 00:23:05

like that is information that I can take and say there's a part

Marianna Clark: 00:23:10

of me that doesn't feel either that I'm not taking

Marianna Clark: 00:23:16

responsibility for in my own life, and I'm projecting it out

Marianna Clark: 00:23:19

onto that person, or onto the world in some way, onto my

Marianna Clark: 00:23:23

circumstances, and I'm getting triggered by them, or it's

Marianna Clark: 00:23:27

triggering this quote, unquote, deep wound inside of me. That's

Marianna Clark: 00:23:30

information if I and if I try to fix it externally, then it just

Marianna Clark: 00:23:38

keeps recycling the pattern. And no matter what we do out there,

Marianna Clark: 00:23:44

it just keeps getting recycled. And that's when we get stuck in

Marianna Clark: 00:23:48

the pattern and in the relationships that sometimes we

Marianna Clark: 00:23:51

tend to, quote, unquote, recreate, versus go, oh, hang on

Marianna Clark: 00:23:55

a minute. Let me this is interesting information, and I

Marianna Clark: 00:23:59

can take that and journal about it. I can take that and see try

Marianna Clark: 00:24:05

to go into the most objective state as possible as to how that

Marianna Clark: 00:24:10

is lying in my subconscious somewhere, and I empower myself

Marianna Clark: 00:24:16

in taking that responsibility and shifting and alchemizing

Marianna Clark: 00:24:20

Either that story or the way I feel around that story or that

Marianna Clark: 00:24:25

circumstance, and when I make that change internally,

Marianna Clark: 00:24:30

everything and everyone changes externally, in my in my world,

Kate Harlow: 00:24:36

but he ghosted me again.

Marianna Clark: 00:24:40

And who ghosted who? What is ghosting about?

Kate Harlow: 00:24:43

I you, yeah, okay, sorry. Go ahead.

Marianna Clark: 00:24:48

I was like that. I find the ghosting thing quite

Marianna Clark: 00:24:50

interesting, because

Kate Harlow: 00:24:51

think about unpack it. Let's unpack it, but I want

Kate Harlow: 00:24:54

you what I was going to after that joke. Sorry for

Kate Harlow: 00:24:56

interrupting you, but I want you so share what you're going to

Kate Harlow: 00:24:59

say about ghost. But I want you to unpack. So let's say, okay,

Kate Harlow: 00:25:04

because I've actually been hearing this a lot lately, where

Kate Harlow: 00:25:07

women say, Oh, we had three or four amazing dates. It was going

Kate Harlow: 00:25:09

so well, and then he just disappeared completely off, like

Kate Harlow: 00:25:12

and no communication whatsoever. So that that's obviously the

Kate Harlow: 00:25:16

term ghosting. Like they they become a ghost. So I would love

Kate Harlow: 00:25:20

for you to share your perspective on it, I'm sure it's

Kate Harlow: 00:25:23

the same as mine, and then to share, if that was you, how

Kate Harlow: 00:25:27

would you alchemize that? So you can give, like, a tangible

Kate Harlow: 00:25:30

example of, like a journey you would go on that that you know,

Kate Harlow: 00:25:35

whoever's been ghosted recently can follow serious

Marianna Clark: 00:25:40

Yeah, I can actually think about in my own

Marianna Clark: 00:25:43

life. Obviously, I've been in a I just got married, actually,

Marianna Clark: 00:25:49

that's

Kate Harlow: 00:25:50

like three weeks ago, publicly denial to

Marianna Clark: 00:25:54

somebody I've been with for gosh, is it over

Marianna Clark: 00:25:58

12 years now. Anyways, the love of my life, and he it's

Marianna Clark: 00:26:03

interesting. So I haven't had that ghosting in that way with a

Marianna Clark: 00:26:07

relationship, but I can relate it to working scenario. So I'm

Marianna Clark: 00:26:13

trying to kind of pull from that experience. And so when I, let's

Marianna Clark: 00:26:19

say, I've had a meeting with a potential partnership for my TV

Marianna Clark: 00:26:26

series, let's say, and it's going really well. I feel like

Marianna Clark: 00:26:30

we could have a relationship here. We could have a

Marianna Clark: 00:26:33

partnership here, we could have a contractual agreement here,

Marianna Clark: 00:26:36

this, this can be, you know, and we're when we're having

Marianna Clark: 00:26:40

different meetings, and then all of a sudden something has

Marianna Clark: 00:26:44

shifted, and they're no longer responding right, or they're

Marianna Clark: 00:26:50

responding less, or it's a no thank you, or whatever that is,

Marianna Clark: 00:26:54

is all forms of, you know, something that was there and

Marianna Clark: 00:26:57

very promising, and it was going really well, and then all of a

Marianna Clark: 00:27:00

sudden, it's not there anymore. And I've been sitting with that,

Marianna Clark: 00:27:05

and I go, it's usually, I usually have the experience of

Marianna Clark: 00:27:11

that, when all of a sudden I went from this really cool,

Marianna Clark: 00:27:15

connected space within myself into giving all of my power,

Marianna Clark: 00:27:21

like, Oh, now they're gonna, they're gonna do the thing and

Marianna Clark: 00:27:27

and then I get overly excited, and it's all the sudden, all the

Marianna Clark: 00:27:30

energy that that was inside, that I was connected to my heart

Marianna Clark: 00:27:34

and soul, I placed it externally, but The validation,

Marianna Clark: 00:27:39

right, the the it's coming from over here, like the excitement

Marianna Clark: 00:27:44

that the project might be going forward, or, you know, the

Marianna Clark: 00:27:47

relationship might all this sudden, all the energy shifted

Marianna Clark: 00:27:52

from being connected and inside of myself to out here, and

Marianna Clark: 00:27:56

that's usually when I find I'm losing, quote, unquote

Marianna Clark: 00:28:01

connection, and I'm getting ghosted. Well, guess who

Marianna Clark: 00:28:04

ghosted? Who? It was me. It was me. I ghosted myself, and the

Marianna Clark: 00:28:12

reflection became all of a sudden, less communication. But

Marianna Clark: 00:28:18

really, the less communication was, a less communication that I

Marianna Clark: 00:28:22

had with myself. That's everything, and it's so cool to

Marianna Clark: 00:28:27

see that now. So then I'm not no longer like, oh my god, there

Marianna Clark: 00:28:31

are no you know, the the opportunity, that unity that I

Marianna Clark: 00:28:36

had is now gone. No, it never left. It's always here. I just

Marianna Clark: 00:28:42

need to reconnect with, back to myself. And so now my practice

Marianna Clark: 00:28:46

is always as I'm on this hero's journey, having all of these

Marianna Clark: 00:28:50

incredible meetings. And of course, my little girl is going

Marianna Clark: 00:28:54

to be like, too, super excited, and oh my god. And this is the

Marianna Clark: 00:28:58

one, right? This is the one relationship, and then having to

Marianna Clark: 00:29:02

come back to Mariana. You are the relationship. You are the

Marianna Clark: 00:29:07

relationship, you are the connection. You are the

Marianna Clark: 00:29:10

partnership that you seek. It's here. And just keep coming back

Marianna Clark: 00:29:15

to that and having that become more solid, and bring your

Marianna Clark: 00:29:19

little excited girl, she's going to come. And you know, you can

Marianna Clark: 00:29:22

bring her with you too, and also come back here. And so now I

Marianna Clark: 00:29:28

have these meetings, and they might come and go, and always

Marianna Clark: 00:29:32

know that the right one is always going to show show up.

Marianna Clark: 00:29:37

Because guess what? The right one is me. Yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:29:43

yeah, and it's I love that you use that example.

Kate Harlow: 00:29:45

I thought you were just going to make up being ghosted. That's

Kate Harlow: 00:29:48

perfect, because

Marianna Clark: 00:29:49

to use a personal experience, because

Marianna Clark: 00:29:51

it's so I think we can all relate to this. We're all human,

Marianna Clark: 00:29:56

and we go through our different version of this. It was through

Marianna Clark: 00:30:00

love, through friendship, through working relationship,

Marianna Clark: 00:30:04

everything,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:06

every time we're about to up level, and that

Kate Harlow: 00:30:08

this, this happens, right? The smaller self gets really, really

Kate Harlow: 00:30:11

loud, and it's been really amazing to witness you, because

Kate Harlow: 00:30:15

the more you come back to that place of like, oh, it's inside,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:18

it's not the deal isn't out there. The the right investors,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:21

the right, you know, people the right who are going to work with

Kate Harlow: 00:30:24

me on this project are not out there, they're inside. And then

Kate Harlow: 00:30:27

you have more opportunities and more excitement and more more

Kate Harlow: 00:30:31

and it just everything. It just keeps getting better. And that's

Kate Harlow: 00:30:34

the thing that your your soul knows, and your heart knows,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:39

that when you plug in, that what you experience externally always

Kate Harlow: 00:30:42

gets better, but the mind is like, no, no, but it's that guy,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:47

because x, y, z, and we become the mind, and the little girl

Kate Harlow: 00:30:51

becomes so attached in fear of there not being anyone else,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:54

that's better.

Marianna Clark: 00:30:56

Yes, yeah. And all the limitations we place on

Marianna Clark: 00:31:00

that one thing, that external thing. And then just think of,

Marianna Clark: 00:31:04

then all the stories that get reconfigured when we do lose

Marianna Clark: 00:31:08

ourselves in that, right? And then we go, Oh, poor me. He

Marianna Clark: 00:31:12

ghosted me. Then it and then we go into a frequency of of lack

Marianna Clark: 00:31:20

of, you know, like there's no other human being out there

Marianna Clark: 00:31:24

that's going to be connected to us ever again. Or there's that

Marianna Clark: 00:31:29

feeling like, what's wrong with me, the sadness, the sorrow, all

Marianna Clark: 00:31:34

the stories that is associated with getting ghosted, then they

Marianna Clark: 00:31:39

get real, they all get reconfigured. And then we stay

Marianna Clark: 00:31:44

in there, and then we recreate a similar self fulfilling prophecy

Marianna Clark: 00:31:49

through that. You know, another one shows up, and then, oh no,

Marianna Clark: 00:31:54

he's the one, boom. And then, and we pull ourselves out again.

Marianna Clark: 00:31:57

We go out of ourselves again. And it's so easy to do. I'm not

Marianna Clark: 00:32:02

saying that. You know, there's no judgment here. It's like we,

Marianna Clark: 00:32:05

we all do it. It's part of being human and having this human

Marianna Clark: 00:32:09

experience. But when we start catching ourselves, and to bring

Marianna Clark: 00:32:14

it back to what are some of the things you do, it's the

Marianna Clark: 00:32:16

simplicity of catching ourselves. I go, oh god, look.

Marianna Clark: 00:32:21

And even having a sense of humor about it, right me, and you

Marianna Clark: 00:32:24

like, how much like, no matter how shitty things get, and how,

Marianna Clark: 00:32:28

like, you know, all this stuff that happens. Like, we go, come

Marianna Clark: 00:32:32

back to the cosmic joke of leaving ourselves and go, Oh my

Marianna Clark: 00:32:36

god, I did that again, you know, and not beating ourselves up

Marianna Clark: 00:32:40

over it being like, I come back to self love, you know, like,

Marianna Clark: 00:32:44

Oh, I lost myself for a moment. I I gave that guy power. I gave

Marianna Clark: 00:32:49

that external situation power over me, you know, and the self

Marianna Clark: 00:32:55

love. And then you just return. And you return. You return over

Marianna Clark: 00:33:00

and over again by just catching yourself, when you dissociate,

Marianna Clark: 00:33:05

catching yourself, when you leave yourself, catching

Marianna Clark: 00:33:07

yourself, when you give power over to that external thing you

Marianna Clark: 00:33:11

know, and just doing a practice where you return and that's

Marianna Clark: 00:33:15

again, coming back to what are some of the practices? Oh, some

Marianna Clark: 00:33:18

of those practices are after I catch it, coming back to a

Marianna Clark: 00:33:24

meditation or putting on a piece of music that you know helps me

Marianna Clark: 00:33:28

move that feeling of of pining or just association or sadness

Marianna Clark: 00:33:36

or whatever, whatever it is, and putting on some music and and

Marianna Clark: 00:33:42

meditation, or going out for a walk and just coming back home.

Kate Harlow: 00:33:46

Yes, and it's, it's a lifelong practice, and in my

Kate Harlow: 00:33:49

experience, it's like, the the more you practice, like, the

Kate Harlow: 00:33:53

more you have these opportunities that do pull you

Kate Harlow: 00:33:55

out into that Wounded Child, the deeper you go into your

Kate Harlow: 00:33:58

sovereignty and your salt, like, it becomes more solidified our

Kate Harlow: 00:34:01

wholeness and the sovereign woman. And it that part of us

Kate Harlow: 00:34:05

becomes stronger the more, the more times we do get activated,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:10

and then we come back home. And I was actually just thought of a

Kate Harlow: 00:34:14

practice we can share that we did at that number we we created

Kate Harlow: 00:34:18

like a business together for a minute a couple years ago, Soul

Kate Harlow: 00:34:21

of intimacy. And we did a workshop. Remember that virtual

Kate Harlow: 00:34:25

workshop we did? And we had the practice that we had them do was

Kate Harlow: 00:34:28

old myths, new truths. And so the old myth is like the story

Kate Harlow: 00:34:34

you're believing, you know, like, oh, again, I'm ghosted.

Kate Harlow: 00:34:38

Men are the worst. There's no good men on planet Earth. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:34:40

gonna be alone forever. I'm broken, blah, blah, blah, all

Kate Harlow: 00:34:42

the stories. And you go into the one that feels the most potent.

Kate Harlow: 00:34:45

And then you move, you put on music, and move as that

Kate Harlow: 00:34:49

character, as that feeling, and move it through your body and

Kate Harlow: 00:34:52

feelings. When we actually move the energy of the feeling, it

Kate Harlow: 00:34:56

alchemizes into something else. And then you let it change, and

Kate Harlow: 00:34:59

you let it alkali. Eyes, and then you tune into the new

Kate Harlow: 00:35:02

truth, like, how do you want to feel? How? What? What is the

Kate Harlow: 00:35:06

actual truth? I am the love of my life, not somebody else.

Marianna Clark: 00:35:13

Yeah. And even in the the new truth, I look

Marianna Clark: 00:35:17

it's so fun to look back at my old myths, new truths, because I

Marianna Clark: 00:35:21

have, I've actually kept them. And the reason why I've kept

Marianna Clark: 00:35:25

them because I get to see, like, wow, I actually used to feel

Marianna Clark: 00:35:31

that way all the time. And what you were saying earlier is like,

Marianna Clark: 00:35:35

the more you practice it, the more this new truth becomes

Marianna Clark: 00:35:38

solid in yourself. And when some of the old stuff, like you said,

Marianna Clark: 00:35:42

it's a lifelong practice, right? It absolutely is. And then when

Marianna Clark: 00:35:46

you do come across an old, you know myth, an old story of

Marianna Clark: 00:35:52

yourself or and they do come back. And the reason why they

Marianna Clark: 00:35:55

come back, it's an old protection mechanism, that's,

Marianna Clark: 00:35:59

it's, it's there, especially when you're expanding into a new

Marianna Clark: 00:36:02

place. You're expanding into a new relationship, some of the

Marianna Clark: 00:36:05

old stuff's going to come back to protect you from a possible

Marianna Clark: 00:36:08

danger, including, like, an expansive relationship, right?

Marianna Clark: 00:36:11

It's like, Oh God no no. Remember guys suck. Remember

Marianna Clark: 00:36:15

they treat you like shit. Remember they're this, that and

Marianna Clark: 00:36:18

the other thing. So some of the old stuff will come back, but

Marianna Clark: 00:36:21

then we can recognize them and go, Oh, those are some of the

Marianna Clark: 00:36:24

old stories coming back, trying to protect me from perhaps

Marianna Clark: 00:36:29

loving again, from perhaps opening my heart and being it

Marianna Clark: 00:36:33

safe to open my heart. And so knowing that is you get to kind

Marianna Clark: 00:36:42

of gently and lovingly nurture yourself through this process,

Marianna Clark: 00:36:47

but the more and more you come back to the new truth, the more

Marianna Clark: 00:36:51

solid it becomes. And I know we've talked about this before,

Marianna Clark: 00:36:54

where we might get an old pattern that comes up, but it

Marianna Clark: 00:37:01

moves through so much quicker, so much easier, because we've

Marianna Clark: 00:37:08

done this. We practice this every day, right? It's a

Marianna Clark: 00:37:13

practice that when we do experience an expansive moment

Marianna Clark: 00:37:18

that brings on some potential fear or or or triggers of any

Marianna Clark: 00:37:25

sort, then we get to meet them in a way that we move through

Marianna Clark: 00:37:32

them with a lot more grace and a lot more ease, and then come

Marianna Clark: 00:37:37

back to that solid place. So I've noticed that in my life and

Marianna Clark: 00:37:41

and I know that you've noticed that in yours too. We talk about

Marianna Clark: 00:37:44

it, we're like, oh, that was yesterday. I know today's a

Marianna Clark: 00:37:47

whole new day, isn't it? So? And that's how quickly, that's how

Marianna Clark: 00:37:51

quickly things can change, from being in, stuck in in some of

Marianna Clark: 00:37:56

our old patterns, the theme of this, to moving through into

Marianna Clark: 00:38:01

living a whole new way of life.

Kate Harlow: 00:38:04

I was just laughing thinking about with you on a

Kate Harlow: 00:38:08

totally different time zone now, like, I'll send you a message

Kate Harlow: 00:38:10

about something that I'm experiencing in the morning and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:13

then, and then, like, you go through my messages, it's like,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:17

Oh yeah, it's shifted, like, the morning I'm feeling a certain

Kate Harlow: 00:38:20

way based on something, and then I do my practices, and then it's

Kate Harlow: 00:38:23

a completely different me back home, back home, back home, and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:28

and I personally find even my like, even my spiritual

Kate Harlow: 00:38:32

practices, I feel like more connected after like, when I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:38:36

moving through a trigger, it's almost like, so there's a part

Kate Harlow: 00:38:39

of me that almost feels excited. It's like, okay, this sucks. It

Kate Harlow: 00:38:42

hurts right now, but like, Ooh, I know there's gold on the other

Kate Harlow: 00:38:45

side. Like, when you it's like, it's like birth, death and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:48

rebirth. It's like birth, birthing a baby. Like, okay, you

Kate Harlow: 00:38:51

could just give so essentially, choosing to stay stuck in our

Kate Harlow: 00:38:54

patterns when we rather than, like, choosing the pattern,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:57

rather than choosing something new, or at least practicing

Kate Harlow: 00:39:00

something new, trying something new is like birthing a baby and

Kate Harlow: 00:39:04

then just stopping and being like, No, you know, it's too

Kate Harlow: 00:39:06

hard. It's painful. Like, I'd rather just No, I'm just gonna

Kate Harlow: 00:39:09

go, I gotta go home. This is really uncomfortable. Versus is

Kate Harlow: 00:39:12

like, you just keep going, you just keep birthing that baby. Oh

Kate Harlow: 00:39:15

my god, the miracle and the love and the expansiveness and the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:19

beauty and the just the unfathomable feelings that

Kate Harlow: 00:39:23

you're going to feel with that baby on your chest after and

Kate Harlow: 00:39:27

also the feeling of, I did this, like, Wow, I did this whole

Kate Harlow: 00:39:31

like, No man ever did this. I did this. Like, birth is the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:34

most miraculous thing in the world, and that's essentially

Kate Harlow: 00:39:37

what we're doing with our essentially your sovereign whole

Kate Harlow: 00:39:41

heroine self is the birth doula to little you every time you're

Kate Harlow: 00:39:45

feeling pain, every time you're feeling or the death doula,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:49

every time an old part of you needs to die, needs to be, you

Kate Harlow: 00:39:52

know, shed and put and let go of so that you can become the woman

Kate Harlow: 00:39:57

that the next version of you. It's like. Of birth and death,

Kate Harlow: 00:40:00

but you're doing it for yourself, rather than depending

Kate Harlow: 00:40:03

on your counselor, depending on your healer, depending on your

Kate Harlow: 00:40:07

boyfriend, depending on someone else to do it for you. You're

Kate Harlow: 00:40:10

doing it for yourself. I mean, I think that's another circling

Kate Harlow: 00:40:13

back to the beginning of this conversation. That's one of the

Kate Harlow: 00:40:16

greatest gifts from our our relationship, is that when I do

Kate Harlow: 00:40:20

have a contraction, you never, ever, ever feed this story.

Kate Harlow: 00:40:24

Never, and you always, I'll never forget when I was

Kate Harlow: 00:40:28

triggered by that girl in Athens that was my friend. But we were

Kate Harlow: 00:40:32

very different, and it was just like, Oh, I was so annoyed with

Kate Harlow: 00:40:34

her. And I was like, she's so needy. She said this. She said

Kate Harlow: 00:40:36

that you're like, go and sit in front of the mirror. Here's

Kate Harlow: 00:40:39

another practice. And you said, Go say those things to yourself.

Kate Harlow: 00:40:41

Go sit in front of the mirror and and and like, basically, you

Kate Harlow: 00:40:45

just every time call me to go do my practice and to go be with

Kate Harlow: 00:40:49

those parts of myself you. And then we have a deep, expansive

Kate Harlow: 00:40:54

conversation about it after. And that is the most beautiful

Kate Harlow: 00:40:57

thing, because it's like, it's so easy, so like being stuck in

Kate Harlow: 00:41:01

our patterns, it's so easy to rely on someone else to try and

Kate Harlow: 00:41:04

feel better, but that's not sustainable long term, and it

Kate Harlow: 00:41:07

doesn't develop that part of you that needs to become more

Kate Harlow: 00:41:10

solidified so that you can walk through the world from your soul

Kate Harlow: 00:41:14

with your heart wide open.

Marianna Clark: 00:41:16

Yeah? And actually, when we don't do that

Marianna Clark: 00:41:19

for each other, we actually help each other stay stuck. Yes, and

Marianna Clark: 00:41:24

this is one of the ways that we actually keep our our patterns

Marianna Clark: 00:41:27

and our stories stuck. We choose people around us that, you know,

Marianna Clark: 00:41:31

like, let's complain about this one thing together. Then, oh,

Marianna Clark: 00:41:34

why? Why isn't anything changing? You know, but when we

Marianna Clark: 00:41:38

do have friends it can lovingly also be like, actually, What?

Marianna Clark: 00:41:44

What? What is the reflection here? What is this mirroring for

Marianna Clark: 00:41:47

you? And then, like you said, when we do birth that part of

Marianna Clark: 00:41:50

ourselves, and we do it enough times to know what's on the

Marianna Clark: 00:41:55

other side, which is like the juice, it's the wholeness, it's

Marianna Clark: 00:42:00

the self love. It's it. We lean into the thing, the story that's

Marianna Clark: 00:42:07

that might be coming up first, the trigger so much more because

Marianna Clark: 00:42:11

we know what's on the other side now. So we can, like you said,

Marianna Clark: 00:42:15

Oh my gosh, I know this absolutely sucks, but I know

Marianna Clark: 00:42:19

what's on the other side. So I'm going to go in, instead of

Marianna Clark: 00:42:22

actually try and numb this out or try and complain about it

Marianna Clark: 00:42:29

with other friends or whatever, I'm going to go to the heart of

Marianna Clark: 00:42:31

this, because I know I'm going to actually meet my wholeness

Marianna Clark: 00:42:37

and my self love here. There's something in the reflection

Marianna Clark: 00:42:41

where I'm not in my I'm not I'm seeing this as a fragmented

Marianna Clark: 00:42:47

part. That's why I get people to go in the mirror a lot of the

Marianna Clark: 00:42:50

times, and they get to see that, and they get to re member that

Marianna Clark: 00:42:56

part of themselves as projecting it out into the world. When we

Marianna Clark: 00:43:01

do that, and we do that enough times, like when those the stuff

Marianna Clark: 00:43:04

comes up that the triggering story, whatever, we go, Ooh,

Marianna Clark: 00:43:08

what's the gold here? What's the treasure that I can find? And we

Marianna Clark: 00:43:11

go into it and through it, we birth the baby. We birth

Marianna Clark: 00:43:14

ourselves, and we trust that now, and we have a little bit

Marianna Clark: 00:43:21

more enthusiasm, dare I say, to actually go into it, versus

Marianna Clark: 00:43:30

trying to fight or flight, you know, to try and resist it, or

Marianna Clark: 00:43:35

try to numb it, or whatever it is, because we know that that's

Marianna Clark: 00:43:39

actually going To bring us more pain and suffering in the

Marianna Clark: 00:43:42

future. So do I want to stay stuck and keep re like churning

Marianna Clark: 00:43:50

this old story about life, about men, about people, about

Marianna Clark: 00:43:56

whatever, or do I want to free myself and move into a really

Marianna Clark: 00:44:02

deep, loving, connected state and frequency inside of me that

Marianna Clark: 00:44:08

also I've seen over and over again, that when I do that,

Marianna Clark: 00:44:12

everything changes. That's where the true change and

Marianna Clark: 00:44:16

transformation happens. So now I'm a much more eager to go and,

Marianna Clark: 00:44:22

quote, unquote birth the baby, versus actually stay stuck or

Marianna Clark: 00:44:26

smaller in my quote, unquote comfort zone.

Unknown: 00:44:31

Yeah, and everything comfortable for a little bit.

Unknown: 00:44:33

But that's not really good. It's not real comfortable.

Kate Harlow: 00:44:36

Yeah, familiar, discomfort, uncomfort zone, but

Kate Harlow: 00:44:39

it's it the misery zone. It all of our desires, like we think

Kate Harlow: 00:44:47

they come from chasing these external things and clinging to

Kate Harlow: 00:44:50

these external things, but they come from exactly what you're

Kate Harlow: 00:44:52

talking about. And then we become a magnet, and we don't

Kate Harlow: 00:44:56

have to do anything, even purpose. Everything, everything

Kate Harlow: 00:44:59

happens. So much more easily because life brings it to you,

Kate Harlow: 00:45:05

because you are matching the frequency to that thing, as

Kate Harlow: 00:45:08

opposed to thinking that thing is going to make me feel better,

Kate Harlow: 00:45:10

because the only reason you want the guy or the job or the car or

Kate Harlow: 00:45:13

the whatever is because you think you're going to feel a

Kate Harlow: 00:45:17

certain way when you have that thing. So if you can create

Kate Harlow: 00:45:21

those feelings, and you can, you can expand and cultivate and and

Kate Harlow: 00:45:26

and be, take, take charge of the feeling frequency that you're

Kate Harlow: 00:45:31

putting out in the world. Well, now you're going to become a

Kate Harlow: 00:45:34

magnet to those things from the inside out, rather than becoming

Kate Harlow: 00:45:37

a codependent on that thing to make you feel good. And it'll

Kate Harlow: 00:45:40

only work in the beginning, and then you're gonna feel crappy

Kate Harlow: 00:45:43

later.

Marianna Clark: 00:45:44

Yeah, that. I love that. The the magnetism

Marianna Clark: 00:45:48

that we exude when we're in that state is just so, so palpable.

Marianna Clark: 00:45:53

And, and people can feel that, you know, and, and, and, you

Marianna Clark: 00:45:58

know, bring it back to what we talked about in the middle of,

Marianna Clark: 00:46:00

what do I say? What do I do? And that's coming from mine. Versus

Marianna Clark: 00:46:04

when you're in your heart and your playfulness and you're in

Marianna Clark: 00:46:08

your magnetism, you might say the silliest, stupidest thing in

Marianna Clark: 00:46:13

front of somebody, but because somebody can feel your heart,

Marianna Clark: 00:46:16

they'll just simply laugh and they'll it's beyond what you

Marianna Clark: 00:46:23

think you might need to say or do to win somebody's affection

Marianna Clark: 00:46:27

or to win somebody over in any way. Or, you know, I laugh,

Marianna Clark: 00:46:32

because some people, when I go into real like high powered

Marianna Clark: 00:46:36

meetings, you know, they go, oh, did you prepare properly? And

Marianna Clark: 00:46:39

did you bring your Bulletproof Bulletproof your bullet points,

Marianna Clark: 00:46:44

bulletproof points and all of this stuff. And you know how

Kate Harlow: 00:46:49

this PowerPoint, PowerPoint, PowerPoint, thank

Kate Harlow: 00:46:51

you. You guys

Marianna Clark: 00:46:53

were trying to understand what I was trying to

Marianna Clark: 00:46:56

say there and and now I go into meetings and I just show up in

Marianna Clark: 00:47:02

full presence and trust whatever the heck is going to come out of

Marianna Clark: 00:47:05

my mouth is just the right thing at the right time, and it's so

Marianna Clark: 00:47:09

much more fun. And people love that. They're like, oh my, I've

Marianna Clark: 00:47:14

gotten feedback, which is like, it's so refreshing that

Marianna Clark: 00:47:17

somebody's actually real, you know, versus coming all overly

Marianna Clark: 00:47:21

prepared and robotic and scripted, scripted, scripted

Marianna Clark: 00:47:25

thing. And it's like, oh, people are responding to that so

Marianna Clark: 00:47:32

differently, you know, even in these work meetings, and guess

Marianna Clark: 00:47:35

what? Then, from that place you build relationship. And if

Marianna Clark: 00:47:40

anybody talks about anything about, like, success in the

Marianna Clark: 00:47:45

world of, you know, the work world, you know they talk about,

Marianna Clark: 00:47:49

it's all about relationship. But first of all, it's like, really

Marianna Clark: 00:47:53

the relationship with yourself, and then it overlaps into

Marianna Clark: 00:47:57

relationship with people and connection. And you don't know

Marianna Clark: 00:48:03

what's going to come out of your mouth, and sometimes the thing

Marianna Clark: 00:48:07

that is most important is the silence. Like, sometimes I've

Marianna Clark: 00:48:13

gone into meetings where it's like, Thank God I didn't come

Marianna Clark: 00:48:16

overly prepared with my strategies, because I it was

Marianna Clark: 00:48:21

more important for me to listen and receive than it was for me

Marianna Clark: 00:48:27

to come with my own agenda, because they came up with ideas

Marianna Clark: 00:48:33

that I hadn't even thought about, and then I was able to

Marianna Clark: 00:48:37

respond with the newness of a new idea, I wouldn't have made

Marianna Clark: 00:48:42

room and space for it if I had come with all of my agendas. So

Marianna Clark: 00:48:49

sometimes going into the silence is is as important as anything,

Marianna Clark: 00:48:58

just like me and you. Sometimes we get on the phone, and we

Marianna Clark: 00:49:01

might not say anything, Nick and I like, that was one of the

Marianna Clark: 00:49:06

things that I it was so different with him. I felt like

Marianna Clark: 00:49:09

I didn't need to fill in the space with him. We could just be

Marianna Clark: 00:49:12

in silence, and then we're just hugging each other with our

Marianna Clark: 00:49:15

frequency, and that's enough.

Kate Harlow: 00:49:21

So, yeah. So beautiful. I was just thinking I

Kate Harlow: 00:49:25

could hear all the women, all the controllers, be like, No, I

Kate Harlow: 00:49:28

have to prepare for the meeting. And I'm just thinking like, the

Kate Harlow: 00:49:32

more time you spend hanging out in the silence with yourself and

Kate Harlow: 00:49:36

in your heart, frequency and in meditation, movement, writing,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:39

all the things we're talking about, like really connecting

Kate Harlow: 00:49:41

with the being part of your human the more you have access

Kate Harlow: 00:49:46

to your divine wisdom, which is far more valuable than your

Kate Harlow: 00:49:49

intellect and everything you've learned from books and programs

Kate Harlow: 00:49:53

and degrees and all of that, like you can be another robot

Kate Harlow: 00:49:58

out there, or you. And actually let your soul speak, and that's

Kate Harlow: 00:50:02

going to be the most influential for the most aligned people. For

Kate Harlow: 00:50:05

you, right? If someone doesn't like that, perhaps they're not

Kate Harlow: 00:50:08

aligned, but I just think of, you know, it doesn't mean, okay,

Kate Harlow: 00:50:11

so for my masterclass, I still prepare, but the day of, I

Kate Harlow: 00:50:15

meditate, and then I write a flip chart of like ideas, and

Kate Harlow: 00:50:19

then I reference it. Sometimes I look at it, sometimes I don't.

Kate Harlow: 00:50:21

But also I'm in the channel simultaneously. It's like I've

Kate Harlow: 00:50:24

got some structure, like a little bit of a structure, so

Kate Harlow: 00:50:27

that I don't miss anything. But also, while I'm teaching, I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:50:31

trusting that everything I say is perfect and that it's all

Kate Harlow: 00:50:34

going to come through, because it is coming from that deeper,

Kate Harlow: 00:50:37

wiser, divine part that every single one of us has access to.

Kate Harlow: 00:50:43

And I feel like so many humans are still don't even know the

Kate Harlow: 00:50:49

superpower that they have inside of them, because they haven't

Kate Harlow: 00:50:52

sat with themselves long enough to feel it and to to discover

Kate Harlow: 00:50:57

it. Yeah, yeah.

Marianna Clark: 00:50:58

And like you said, too, it's not about like

Marianna Clark: 00:51:01

not preparing at all. There's always a sense of preparation,

Marianna Clark: 00:51:04

you know, with obviously, you know, we do live in a world of

Marianna Clark: 00:51:08

structure, but finding the balance between that level of

Marianna Clark: 00:51:13

structure and also bringing your your knowing, your nowness, your

Marianna Clark: 00:51:19

intuition, your creativity, your femininity, and having it, you

Marianna Clark: 00:51:26

know, you should again. It's all about a wholeness. We not

Marianna Clark: 00:51:29

negating one thing over the other, but just bringing both

Marianna Clark: 00:51:32

aspects of self. And you know, for me with, like, when I go

Marianna Clark: 00:51:36

into meetings, I've had, like, 10 years of preparation, of, you

Marianna Clark: 00:51:40

know, doing, you know, writing script, the script and the

Marianna Clark: 00:51:43

creative development. I've got like, 30 decks or whatever. But

Marianna Clark: 00:51:47

again, even with those things, it's like, how am I showing up

Marianna Clark: 00:51:52

in that creation as well, in that preparation? Am I doing it

Marianna Clark: 00:51:57

all from my head, or am I tuning in also from a different place

Marianna Clark: 00:52:02

and from a listening place, using my intuition and bringing

Marianna Clark: 00:52:05

that with me as well. So it's Yeah, and it's it's lovely to

Marianna Clark: 00:52:11

show up in in with people and relationships and meetings now

Marianna Clark: 00:52:16

from that place, and it was, and that's integration, right?

Marianna Clark: 00:52:20

That's an it more of an integrated space. And this is

Marianna Clark: 00:52:23

that the concept of our wholeness is like, bring all of

Marianna Clark: 00:52:26

us to the table, not just one or the other, but but all of us.

Marianna Clark: 00:52:32

And they're all you know, even we speak about alignment, it's

Marianna Clark: 00:52:36

like when we bring all of those aspects of ourselves in

Marianna Clark: 00:52:40

alignment, then we attract the person, the company, whatever

Marianna Clark: 00:52:47

that is also a reflection of that internal alignment and

Marianna Clark: 00:52:52

integrated space as

Kate Harlow: 00:52:53

well. Yeah, and all of that is it can be applied,

Kate Harlow: 00:52:57

like everything we just shared about going to a meeting, less

Kate Harlow: 00:53:01

prepared, more connected, more like I mean, when I prepare for

Kate Harlow: 00:53:05

my masterclass, I spend like five minutes writing the flip

Kate Harlow: 00:53:08

chart, but I spend like three hours meditating and singing and

Kate Harlow: 00:53:12

moving and writing and connecting on a deeper and same

Kate Harlow: 00:53:15

immersion. Every morning I'm up three hours earlier, and every

Kate Harlow: 00:53:19

morning I'm singing and dancing and meditating and writing. And

Kate Harlow: 00:53:22

sometimes I write poetry. Sometimes I write raps. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:53:25

like, and then I sometimes perform the RAPs immediately

Kate Harlow: 00:53:27

after writing them. It's like, because whatever's meant to come

Kate Harlow: 00:53:30

through that day for those women who are there, I'm present with

Kate Harlow: 00:53:34

them. And I even think this last immersion, I felt more plugged

Kate Harlow: 00:53:37

in than ever. New Material came through, new content. It was

Kate Harlow: 00:53:41

like new practices, new new perspectives, and it was so new

Kate Harlow: 00:53:44

because it was exactly what they needed to receive. But if I

Kate Harlow: 00:53:47

wasn't open to the channel, and I wasn't plugged in to myself

Kate Harlow: 00:53:52

and my wholeness and my sovereignty and my being, I

Kate Harlow: 00:53:55

would have missed that. It would have been the scripted thing

Kate Harlow: 00:53:57

that that I did it every year. And you know, it wouldn't be

Kate Harlow: 00:54:00

this fresh, new experience that was meant for them. And even I

Kate Harlow: 00:54:03

think about how we're in a different time, the Aquarian Age

Kate Harlow: 00:54:06

has begun, and like, of course, the immersion this year is not

Kate Harlow: 00:54:09

gonna be the same as the immersion last year, and it's

Kate Harlow: 00:54:11

never the same. So that you can bring that that presence and

Kate Harlow: 00:54:15

that energy, I was gonna say, to dating too right, to your

Kate Harlow: 00:54:18

relationships, to romantic relationships. Imagine being

Kate Harlow: 00:54:21

with someone 12 years your patterns want to see them a

Kate Harlow: 00:54:25

certain way and just hold the past against them, versus

Kate Harlow: 00:54:29

plugging into yourself. And now you get to see Nick every

Kate Harlow: 00:54:32

morning with fresh eyes, as opposed to projecting all the

Kate Harlow: 00:54:36

past experiences and who you think he is onto him. Yes,

Marianna Clark: 00:54:40

oh yeah, yeah. And being in a long term

Marianna Clark: 00:54:43

relationship like that, that is definitely the opportunity to do

Marianna Clark: 00:54:48

that. And it, you know, it's definitely easy to be like, you

Marianna Clark: 00:54:52

know, capitalize on a person's predictability, you know, as to

Marianna Clark: 00:54:58

they're going to show up and be this way. And all of that. And,

Marianna Clark: 00:55:01

you know, talk about keeping somebody else stuck, you know,

Marianna Clark: 00:55:05

and then because, then the dynamic, then between you in the

Marianna Clark: 00:55:08

story, stay stuck, and there's no room for for growth and

Marianna Clark: 00:55:12

change. And you know, that's important in relationships. You

Marianna Clark: 00:55:16

know, think about how much me and you have changed, and in the

Marianna Clark: 00:55:20

how since we first met each other. About, what is it, six,

Marianna Clark: 00:55:24

seven years ago. I mean, 1820, 18, yeah, just like, oh my gosh,

Marianna Clark: 00:55:30

you know. And, and we do that. I mean, totally guilty of that.

Marianna Clark: 00:55:35

Like, Oh, I want to see you in this way so I can see myself in

Marianna Clark: 00:55:41

this way, you know, and keep that identity for myself alive,

Marianna Clark: 00:55:49

and that's like, I think, one of the opportunity, I don't want to

Marianna Clark: 00:55:54

say challenges, but opportunities and relationships

Marianna Clark: 00:55:58

that we find ourselves in and and seeing people with with new

Marianna Clark: 00:56:04

eyes. But one of the ways I think we see people and new eyes

Marianna Clark: 00:56:08

is living in the present moment, letting go of our own stories

Marianna Clark: 00:56:11

and concepts of who we are and how we are in the world. Right?

Marianna Clark: 00:56:16

The more we do that, the more we can do that for other people,

Kate Harlow: 00:56:20

yeah, how often women say, like, when I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:56:23

working with them, or they're like, Oh, I'm so like this and

Kate Harlow: 00:56:25

like, who's like that? Like, we're constantly externalizing

Kate Harlow: 00:56:28

it to the saboteur, because it's like, okay, you've been like

Kate Harlow: 00:56:30

that in the past, but what if something new is going to come

Kate Harlow: 00:56:33

through? You know, you've always been a perfectionist, or you've

Kate Harlow: 00:56:35

always been a sacrifice, or whatever the thing might be. But

Kate Harlow: 00:56:39

if we constantly like we're that are so much reconfiguration of

Kate Harlow: 00:56:44

our patterns occurs when we tell stories about who we think we

Kate Harlow: 00:56:49

are, and sometimes you think it's even a good thing, what?

Kate Harlow: 00:56:53

But, but you're actually limiting yourself to

Kate Harlow: 00:56:55

experiencing more of who you really are.

Marianna Clark: 00:56:58

Yeah, yeah. I used to do that a lot of times.

Marianna Clark: 00:57:00

Like, I'm saying things like, Oh, I'm not a technical person.

Marianna Clark: 00:57:04

I'm a creative and, like, really just taking pride in that, you

Marianna Clark: 00:57:08

know, I'm a creative, I'm not a technical person. And then I

Marianna Clark: 00:57:12

realized how much I was, like, shooting myself in the foot with

Marianna Clark: 00:57:19

all of these other things that kept me actually stuck or not

Marianna Clark: 00:57:23

being able to progress in other ways that I wanted to, because I

Marianna Clark: 00:57:27

was negating a certain aspect of myself. And guess what? When I

Marianna Clark: 00:57:31

told myself the story that I wasn't a technical person, I

Marianna Clark: 00:57:34

became a non technical person, but as soon as I let go of that,

Marianna Clark: 00:57:38

no, oh, that's that is because I've made it so and I let go of

Marianna Clark: 00:57:42

the story, and was open to me being a really great at

Marianna Clark: 00:57:46

technical, being technical. I My brain was switching on in a

Marianna Clark: 00:57:51

whole new way that I was, like, surprised over and over again. I

Marianna Clark: 00:57:55

was like, doo. Doo, doo. This other part took over where it

Marianna Clark: 00:57:58

was just like, Oh, I did that, and I did this, and that was

Marianna Clark: 00:58:02

pretty easy. And now sometimes people come to me for technical

Marianna Clark: 00:58:05

advice. And I mean, how did I do that? It was only because I let

Marianna Clark: 00:58:09

go of the story that was in the way of that, and all of a sudden

Marianna Clark: 00:58:15

it's like, do we know our capacity

Unknown: 00:58:19

limitless?

Marianna Clark: 00:58:19

We're limitless, the only thing that keeps us

Marianna Clark: 00:58:23

stuck is our own limiting belief systems and stories that we tell

Marianna Clark: 00:58:29

ourselves, whether it's consciously or sometimes

Marianna Clark: 00:58:33

trickier, subconsciously, and that's part of the beauty of

Marianna Clark: 00:58:37

this work, is sometimes finding those subconscious, as we've

Marianna Clark: 00:58:42

called them, nuggets gold treasures that are keeping

Marianna Clark: 00:58:45

ourselves stuck or in the way of experiencing our limitless

Marianna Clark: 00:58:50

consciousness and the limitless beauty and and, and it's, it's

Marianna Clark: 00:58:58

hard to even put into words, but of who really, really

Kate Harlow: 00:59:01

reality? Yeah, what? There's so much available

Kate Harlow: 00:59:04

to us that we far beyond what I mean, what you and I have even

Kate Harlow: 00:59:08

tapped into. We've been on this journey collectively almost 40

Kate Harlow: 00:59:12

years, like me and you together have both been on the journey

Kate Harlow: 00:59:14

for 20 years. And I just think it's infinite, and one of the

Kate Harlow: 00:59:22

ways to track your subconscious beliefs is when you are stuck in

Kate Harlow: 00:59:26

a story about this external thing and feeling relief if the

Kate Harlow: 00:59:29

guy texts, or if the job goes through, if the whatever it's

Kate Harlow: 00:59:33

like, and if it doesn't, and start to ask yourself curious

Kate Harlow: 00:59:36

questions. And if it doesn't, what it'll what will it mean

Kate Harlow: 00:59:39

about me? What? What? What does this mean about me, that he's

Kate Harlow: 00:59:41

not texting me back? What am I believing about myself right

Kate Harlow: 00:59:44

now? And ask yourself curious questions to get to the root,

Kate Harlow: 00:59:47

and you'll know when you get to the root, because it will feel

Kate Harlow: 00:59:50

really uncomfortable and really painful, but that's how you can

Kate Harlow: 00:59:53

start to uncover what's in there, what's like playing

Kate Harlow: 00:59:56

underneath the surface, but if you just stay in the story. Uh,

Kate Harlow: 01:00:01

of I've been ghosted. You're reconfiguring. You're that

Kate Harlow: 01:00:05

wound. You're just reconfiguring. You're just and

Kate Harlow: 01:00:07

you're also just living from that part of you. So there's no

Kate Harlow: 01:00:11

opportunity here to heal a part of the little girl and to deepen

Kate Harlow: 01:00:15

into that sovereign woman. Yeah,

Marianna Clark: 01:00:19

and, yeah, yeah. And one of those ways, like you

Marianna Clark: 01:00:23

mentioned earlier, was to catch instead of just letting them run

Marianna Clark: 01:00:27

in the background and having them just be like, Oh, as soon

Marianna Clark: 01:00:31

as, like, you catch yourself having that thought of like, I'm

Marianna Clark: 01:00:38

being ghosted. I must be there's something wrong with me, or

Marianna Clark: 01:00:42

something or here it goes again, like it's just the way men are.

Marianna Clark: 01:00:45

Okay, let's just take that one. It's just the way men are in

Marianna Clark: 01:00:51

this way. Write it down. That's a story. Physicalize it. Take it

Marianna Clark: 01:00:56

from the ethers of the subconscious mind. Bring it

Marianna Clark: 01:01:00

through your body as a physical, as your physical, you know

Marianna Clark: 01:01:05

instrument, write it down, experience that feeling. Take a

Marianna Clark: 01:01:11

moment to feel into that and then anything that else comes up

Marianna Clark: 01:01:15

might be anger, frustration, sadness, like feel all the

Marianna Clark: 01:01:20

feelings that that one story is producing chemically in your

Marianna Clark: 01:01:23

body, that on some level, it's it's addicted to because it is

Marianna Clark: 01:01:29

like a drug. We find that it is like a drug, and then writing

Marianna Clark: 01:01:35

the new truth down. Men are so trustworthy. Men are so loving

Marianna Clark: 01:01:43

and supportive of who I am. I love being in this beautiful

Marianna Clark: 01:01:48

whatever the new story that that you want to have the experience

Marianna Clark: 01:01:52

of, and what is that? So it's not the thing. But what is the

Marianna Clark: 01:01:54

feeling inside of you? Within that feeling supported? Ah, I'm

Marianna Clark: 01:01:59

the one giving myself to support. So then all of a sudden

Marianna Clark: 01:02:02

the you wanting to feel loved and supported comes from from

Marianna Clark: 01:02:07

yourself. And also the new story is I'm feeling love and

Marianna Clark: 01:02:11

supported within this relationship. I'm doing that now

Marianna Clark: 01:02:15

with I'm writing before I go to bed, because I went to this

Marianna Clark: 01:02:20

really cool workshop in London called Love brain. And there was

Marianna Clark: 01:02:25

this neuroscientist talking about how before we go to bed,

Marianna Clark: 01:02:29

if we write in all caps, this, this, you know, certain things

Marianna Clark: 01:02:34

that we're experiencing or want to experience, and right before

Marianna Clark: 01:02:37

we go to bed, our brain kind of takes that in as a as a reality,

Marianna Clark: 01:02:42

and so I'm working with this one right now. She's like, I love my

Marianna Clark: 01:02:47

team, like my creative team, right? I don't know who my

Marianna Clark: 01:02:51

creative team is right at this moment, but I know what the

Marianna Clark: 01:02:55

feeling would feel like of having a wonderful team that I

Marianna Clark: 01:03:01

love and loves me, and we're creating in this way,

Marianna Clark: 01:03:04

collaboratively. I know what that feeling is, so I give that

Marianna Clark: 01:03:08

to myself. I'm in that I am my loving, creative team that I

Marianna Clark: 01:03:15

love, and that that's the new that's the new truth, that is

Marianna Clark: 01:03:20

the new truth. So how much of my time am I living in that new

Marianna Clark: 01:03:26

truth versus in my old myth? The amount of time, the amount of

Marianna Clark: 01:03:32

time we spend living energetically in our new truth,

Marianna Clark: 01:03:37

is how much that's going to start getting manifested or

Marianna Clark: 01:03:45

magnetized to us in our reality. It's just going to start

Marianna Clark: 01:03:50

mirroring that experience, mirroring that internal

Marianna Clark: 01:03:54

landscape that we are consciously co creating.

Kate Harlow: 01:04:00

Yes, life is a frickin mirror. Is it ever a

Kate Harlow: 01:04:03

mirror? And we get exactly the thing that we're believing

Kate Harlow: 01:04:06

internally. I was thinking, laughing, thinking about the

Kate Harlow: 01:04:10

trigger I had with the guy friend a couple of years ago

Kate Harlow: 01:04:12

that you helped me through, and I wanted so badly you to, like,

Kate Harlow: 01:04:15

hate him with me and like to be the story like I was so mad. And

Kate Harlow: 01:04:20

it was a trigger that, like, when I actually went into it, it

Kate Harlow: 01:04:23

was like, Whoa, you said you hate men. A part of you hates

Kate Harlow: 01:04:27

men. And I was like, No, I don't like what I don't and you're

Kate Harlow: 01:04:32

like, Yeah, part of you does. And I was so defensive. And then

Kate Harlow: 01:04:35

I went into it, it was like, men can't be trusted. Men are the

Kate Harlow: 01:04:37

worst. And it was, you know, for many years of working with women

Kate Harlow: 01:04:41

and hearing so many stories about men, there had been this

Kate Harlow: 01:04:44

like energy and also some of my experiences that it stuck to me.

Kate Harlow: 01:04:48

And I didn't. I wasn't a man hater before doing this work,

Kate Harlow: 01:04:52

and it was there, and I didn't even know it was there, but I

Kate Harlow: 01:04:55

didn't have any male friends at the time. I only had women in my

Kate Harlow: 01:04:59

life, and. And so I went into it, and I looked at all the

Kate Harlow: 01:05:04

stories, I looked at all the beliefs, and I sat with them,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:07

and I felt them

Marianna Clark: 01:05:07

and the feelings around that, oh yeah, got to

Marianna Clark: 01:05:11

unlock all of the anger and the rage and the frustrations and

Marianna Clark: 01:05:16

the horror, you know, and like getting to the core of the

Marianna Clark: 01:05:20

feeling that keeps it all there.

Unknown: 01:05:23

Yes, it was so it's so powerful,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:27

and that's the most important thing, the feeling.

Kate Harlow: 01:05:30

Because you can't just, like, write the positive thing on the

Kate Harlow: 01:05:32

thing, if you haven't actually felt and moved the feeling, yes,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:36

otherwise it's just putting icing on poo. Like it's still,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:38

you don't want to eat the cupcake. It's still poop,

Marianna Clark: 01:05:41

like positive affirmations, yes, don't work

Marianna Clark: 01:05:44

because of that,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:45

exactly because you have to move the energy. And

Kate Harlow: 01:05:47

when I did, I look at my life now, and I love men, and I have

Kate Harlow: 01:05:51

so many amazing men in my life, and I feel so supported by men,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:54

and I feel so much more intimate with men, like connected to men,

Kate Harlow: 01:05:58

strangers on the street, like, I just have a completely different

Kate Harlow: 01:06:02

experience. And I didn't even, at the time know that I had a

Kate Harlow: 01:06:05

discord with men other than I was like, Oh, I don't think I

Kate Harlow: 01:06:07

ever want a boyfriend again. Like, when I left Jeff, I was

Kate Harlow: 01:06:10

like, I don't think I ever want love again. I was shut down from

Kate Harlow: 01:06:12

romantic love at the time, and, you know, just like not and also

Kate Harlow: 01:06:17

feeling like, I don't think I'll ever like anyone again, because

Kate Harlow: 01:06:19

I was looking around like not feeling anything for any man,

Kate Harlow: 01:06:22

because that was underneath, and I didn't even know. So triggers

Kate Harlow: 01:06:25

are such a gateway, if you know and you practice, so you and I

Kate Harlow: 01:06:32

practice our practices every day to build the capacity, to build

Kate Harlow: 01:06:36

the desire for us sitting in our own living room of love

Kate Harlow: 01:06:40

internally. Like to create, to create that sanctuary inside. We

Kate Harlow: 01:06:44

have the practice already. And then on top of the daily

Kate Harlow: 01:06:47

practice, when we're activated, we go in, and that's the key. Is

Kate Harlow: 01:06:51

like you build the practice every day, so that when you are

Kate Harlow: 01:06:53

activated, you know that's the safest space to go, is to

Kate Harlow: 01:06:57

actually go through the feelings and the stories and all of that.

Kate Harlow: 01:07:00

So oh my gosh, I feel like you and I could talk forever. I know

Kate Harlow: 01:07:04

we do every day, but yeah, so beautiful. So I would say any

Kate Harlow: 01:07:11

final words you want to say about just old patterns and

Kate Harlow: 01:07:16

about working with you. I know my life has drastically changed

Kate Harlow: 01:07:20

since you came into it, and have helped me deepen on my own

Kate Harlow: 01:07:23

journey with all your practices and your spiritual perspectives

Kate Harlow: 01:07:27

and your teachings and and are you open to working with women

Kate Harlow: 01:07:32

right now?

Marianna Clark: 01:07:33

Yeah, I do have a couple spots. I only take a

Marianna Clark: 01:07:38

limited one on one coaching clients, but I do have room now

Marianna Clark: 01:07:44

that I've moved back here and got settled in California for a

Marianna Clark: 01:07:48

couple women to do one on one coaching So absolutely, and to

Marianna Clark: 01:07:53

your point earlier, I think it is so important to have you

Marianna Clark: 01:08:00

know, people that can lovingly and objectively point out some

Marianna Clark: 01:08:06

of these subconscious things that we might feel total

Marianna Clark: 01:08:09

resistance to at first, like you were talking about with the man

Marianna Clark: 01:08:13

hating thing, but wow, it's like, that's the thing that

Marianna Clark: 01:08:17

causes the most transformation in Your Life. And you know, I

Marianna Clark: 01:08:22

know you've done that for me many times in my life, and

Marianna Clark: 01:08:26

that's what I think is so beautiful, that we can have this

Marianna Clark: 01:08:29

honest yet loving feedback that we can give each other. But I

Marianna Clark: 01:08:36

guess the last words are, you know, it is so possible to

Marianna Clark: 01:08:45

access these parts of ourselves with, you know, obviously

Marianna Clark: 01:08:49

podcasts like this that help us remember to return to who we

Marianna Clark: 01:08:54

truly are, to be seen who we are by amazing women. And, you know,

Marianna Clark: 01:09:02

I'm just so grateful for you and my life, and I talk about you to

Marianna Clark: 01:09:08

everyone all the time, and our and our relationship, I just

Marianna Clark: 01:09:13

feel so blessed that I'm able to have a relationship like this.

Marianna Clark: 01:09:18

And you know, I attribute it to, you know, the work that I've

Marianna Clark: 01:09:22

done with I know we've talked about my mentor that I've had in

Marianna Clark: 01:09:26

the past that has changed my life. And it is important

Marianna Clark: 01:09:29

sometimes, when we we have a hard time accessing these

Marianna Clark: 01:09:35

subconscious stories to to have people that can help identify

Marianna Clark: 01:09:41

those and help us birth the baby, birth the baby of our

Marianna Clark: 01:09:46

truest selves, and to know that it can be sometimes it can be

Marianna Clark: 01:09:51

challenging, but those challenges can be the most

Marianna Clark: 01:09:56

rewarding when we see what's on the other side. And, and, yeah,

Marianna Clark: 01:10:03

I'm just grateful to be on this podcast and to you know, Kate

Marianna Clark: 01:10:09

and I were talked about like, what is it that we want to share

Marianna Clark: 01:10:16

with these women today, or men and and men. And the one thing

Marianna Clark: 01:10:24

that came up for me is to, like, feel like I'm just loving

Marianna Clark: 01:10:29

everyone on the deepest level, as as myself. And so I guess my

Marianna Clark: 01:10:36

last words come from the heart is that I love you all so much,

Marianna Clark: 01:10:42

and I love you, katyana, so much.

Kate Harlow: 01:10:45

I love you so beautiful. And I love having you

Kate Harlow: 01:10:49

on this is, I think, your third appearance, or fourth appearance

Kate Harlow: 01:10:51

on the new truth. We got a regular here. It's kind of

Kate Harlow: 01:10:55

you're my co facilitator, when you can. I so those of you that

Kate Harlow: 01:11:01

don't know we have a joint name, katiana. Is our name, Kate and

Kate Harlow: 01:11:04

Mariana, katiana, and there is a baby calf. Well, I think it's

Kate Harlow: 01:11:07

getting older now. It's about it's over a year. It's about a

Kate Harlow: 01:11:10

year and a half, a year and a half year old calf in Kenya at

Kate Harlow: 01:11:14

olopangi Farm, named after katyana, which in Swahili means

Kate Harlow: 01:11:19

the seductive one. We learned that when we were there, they

Kate Harlow: 01:11:22

were shocked when we suggested to name the cow katiana, but we

Kate Harlow: 01:11:26

won in the end. So I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you,

Kate Harlow: 01:11:31

and I love that we can model the new paradigm of sisterhood and

Kate Harlow: 01:11:35

female relationship to so many women are longing for this, and

Kate Harlow: 01:11:39

it does exist in everything we shared today. When you live from

Kate Harlow: 01:11:43

your heart, when you live from your truth, your wholeness, you

Kate Harlow: 01:11:47

attract, you attract it. And we came very magically into each

Kate Harlow: 01:11:51

other's lives because we were, we were on the same frequency,

Kate Harlow: 01:11:54

on the same channel. So I love you so much. Thank you for all

Kate Harlow: 01:11:58

your wisdom and your beauty and your magic, and thank you. I

Kate Harlow: 01:12:03

love you, and as always, share this episode with every woman

Kate Harlow: 01:12:06

you know.